language, and the parameters of its limits.

Sometimes, the ability to describe everything has negative implications. I fear when it comes to English, something that I constantly notice about myself is being addicted to describing. There is always another word—a better word to utilize and somehow, I am still unable to find it. I am addicted to the act of accumulating knowledge. In language itself, there is a lack of connecting what a word is describing to its physical essence. Just because I say apple, does not mean that there is a physical apple in front of me. Just because I say love, does not mean that love is present. It feels far. Unconnected from what reality truly is. I feel as if I am chasing the idea of learning concepts (words) as opposed to the contents of what the concept really is. A word is just a word. Not the tangible item. I forget that sometimes. Due to this, its difficult for me to conceptualize, or more so recognize concepts and compare them to my own personal experience. I have memorized the textbook definition. Every word becomes compartmentalized, stored into its personal filing cabinet. It’s taxing if you solely depend on words for self expression.

Its contradictory that I’m trying to describe this in English, but English endorses the idea of chasing knowledge instead of understanding it. I remember watching a video led by Noam Chomsky called, The Concept of Knowledge, and he highlights that most languages carry the values and beliefs of the culture it originates from. I wonder if that is also why it is quicker to learn a language if you are in its country of origin as opposed to just studying it on your own. This theory brings me to think about the values of Britain. The calculation. The logic. The ugly dressed in coquette gowns, and royalty. The birth of colonialism. The instant labeling of the “other”. The chase for power. The chase for more.

In The Spirit of Intimacy, the author speaks about this term in the Dagara language, a tribe located within Burkina Faso. “The thing knowledge cannot eat” Yielbongura. It stuck with me. The Dagara tribe has accepted that there are some things words cannot emulate fully. Now, I am not endorsing anti-intellectualism, but sometimes, we have to accept that some things can be true based off of intuition, off of a gut feeling. Just because you cannot explain it within the parameters of language does not make it any less valid. I think that depending solely on language has decreased the ability for people to depend on their own intuition— to strengthen it.